Longest 2 Weeks

Today marks two weeks since we arrived in Colorado. I’d been back and forth when I’d learned about my dad’s cancer, but two weeks since we pulled up after a 3-day-long trip across the country.

That seems so long ago.

We signed up for the gym right away. It’s not perfect, but since I still need access to a treadmill (my knee is still rehabbing and can’t handle concrete) it will do. I haven’t really found my home in any of the group classes. I still feel out of place and out of sorts.

All levels yoga was just a lot of laying on a mat with my eyes closed. I’d prefer a little less time alone with my thoughts.

***
I can’t tell if my mom is unable to make dinners anymore.

I’ve been trying to figure this out on the d.l. Weighing out evidence on each side. Does she just need more nudging? Is her confidence lacking after her mini stroke?

It breaks my heart to type those words.

Growing up my mom cooked all our meals. I remember her as competent in the kitchen.

So, I feel a bit guilty not knowing exactly when the switch happened. When my dad started shouldering more of the dinner load.

I talked to a memory care center not far from my parents. They’re scheduling for next April—so I am in a mad dash to get her a referral so we can at least get my mom on the waiting list for a full evaluation.

I know how important it is to get a diagnosis so we can get her some help.

I see how frustrated she is with her own inability to find words, express complete thoughts.

Her own neurologist can’t fit her in until next February.

So, I’m plodding on the best I know how. We’ll ask the general practitioner if he can write the referral so we can get on the list for her to undergo a neurocognitive exam.

In the meantime, we’ll try to get to the bottom of her spells of disorientation and dizziness.

It feels like there’s something new every day.

To think that I thought I was coming out to help my dad w/his cancer diagnosis.

***

What a pleasant timeout from reality it was to catch a movie Thursday night. There were only 4 of us in the theater to see Amsterdam on its opening night.

We left upbeat and reminded of the simple joys in life. Even if joy is now characterized as half-price movie night at a local cinema. I’ll take it.